“To school or not to school, that is the question…”
From help with homework, to tips for pulling a sickie, here’s some expert advice to help you through your week.
How to pretend to be sick, by Abeer
STEP 1. Got a mother who loves make up?
STEP 2. While she’s busy get down to business.
STEP 3. Grab lipstick, put spots on your face and call your mother while you’re in bed and continue to relax – she may take long. WARNING: You may get caught.
STEP 4. Grab a thermometer and put into a hot cup of milk. That way it’s more believable.
MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW ALL STEPS – THIS IS RISKY.
STEP 1. Grab a couple of custard cream biscuits and smash them.
STEP 2. Grab some hot milk and mix the two together.
STEP 3. Add a couple of mashed bananas.
STEP 4. Call you mother and throw the mixture onto the kitchen floor.
STEP 5. Grab some of the mixture and smother it over your mouth.
STEP 6. Now wait for the action and decide what channel you would like to watch on TV.
BEWARE. THIS IS SUPER RISKY.
WEDNESDAY (to go home early)
STEP 1. Go to the shop. Buy six stripes of brown liquorice.
STEP 2. Suck slowly during school.
STEP 3. Tell your teacher you are feeling sick and show her your tongue.
STEP 4. Then tell your mother’s number to the teacher.
STEP 5. Decide which sofa you would like to sit on and which show you want to watch.
THURSDAY (to get a fever)
STEP 1. Lick your hands.
STEP 2. Rub on your face (don’t be scared).
STEP 3. Call your mum and say you have a fever.
STEP 4. Relax, chill out, because my tricks are back in town!
WARNING. COULD GO TO DOCTORS.
STEP 1. Talk too much.
STEP 2. You should start feeling dry.
STEP 3. Then your voice goes croaky.
STEP 4. Try this during winter!!!
STEP 5. Good luck, but you might really get sick.
SATURDAY AND SUNDAY.
No need to be sick, you’re off school anyway!
Helping you finish your homework, by Asya
- Get your homework from your teacher.
- Even if you think think you’re going to forget, write all the instructions on a piece of paper and stick it somewhere you won’t forget.
- Tell your brother or sister what you’re suck on.
- After, time yourself on a certain thing.
- Make sure you do all of your home work.
- Then for the rest of the week you’re FREE!!!