Review: Hoxton Museum of the Future

Posted by theministry on 4th August 2016

Intrepid time traveller Rachael O’Rourke reports on her visit to Hoxton Museum of the Future


It’s 3016 and time machines are so 2996. Everyone knows the only way to experience the past is with the vintage thrill of a museum, and the neo-hipsters of Shoreditch are lucky to have a fantastic example on their doorstep: the Hoxton Museum of the Future.

This attraction contains a host of stories from the past thousand years, from descriptions of early space travel to eye-witness accounts of the terrible London floods, all documented by the young writers from the Ministry of Stories.

Now don’t you worry about anything you might have heard about the museum’s misplaced zombie. Sure, it turned out to not be so dead as previously thought, but the authorities have removed the corpses and secured the scene.Still, what would a celebration of the third millennium be without a brush with the undead?

Don’t let the blood stains stop you from lingering in the Creature Attack zone, or you’ll miss accounts of Zeus’ involvement in the zombie outbreak or of the attempts made by some of the undead to fit into human society.

For a more in-depth museum experience, have the Museum’s lively young guides show you around the other exhibits. You can reach into a Temporal Vortexatron to pull out diaries of time travellers, listen to an interview with the infamous Elizabeth III in a replica of the star system she conquered, or stand among ethereal clouds to read accounts of Londoners surviving waves of natural disasters.

Before you leave, take some time to explore the retro technology in the Robotech world – a reminder of a time when automata had a human face. Careful not to be fooled by their colourful ‘hair’ and jaunty grins – robots such as these nearly overthrew the whole of the human race in the 2300s. Nowadays though, they’re kept as record of the past, including the very first recording of a rap battle between ocean whales.

With such a delightful collection of artefacts right on your doorstep, who needs the atomic jet lag of a trip in a time machine? The Hoxton Museum has shown us our future.
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The Hoxton Museum of the Future was an exhibition run by the Ministry of Stories from 30-31st July to showcase children’s stories, as a cumulation of two terms of about the future.

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